July 24, 2001
Syberian Express
So generally I consider myself to be a slightly twisted individual, somewhere to the left of normal and well on my way to Cukootown. In recent months I have been known proclaim to passers-by that I am the King of the Fish People. On one occasion, Clay and I caused a young lady to walk right into a tree as a result of our proclamations. Today, I have been proven that I have a long way to go before I can even catch the bus to Crazy. I work in a small office building located just outside of Boston. In my building are a variety of lawyers, insurance companies, professional services companies, etc. Today as I walked to our upstairs office, there was an older (60-ish) gentleman wearing a shirt, tie, and a GIANT BLACK AND RED FELT HAT!! The hat had a red triangle on the front and he carried with him a 4 foot tall BELLOWS STYLE TRAIN HORN/WHISTLE!!! As he walked down the hall, he was tooting the horn and inviting passers-by to join him on, get this...THE SIBERIAN EXPRESS.
He was asking anyone who hated his or her jobs to join him in this pilgrimage to the motherland. Now, I thought maybe this guy was just playing some kind of joke and that it was a one-time thing, until I went to go get lunch. There he was sitting in the cafeteria eating, hat still firmly in place. As I came in, he tried to convince me that the owner of the cafeteria was selling special airline tickets to Russia today, and that the offer was up at 5, so I had better hurry. After I left he finished his lunch and began walking up and down the halls playing the horn again! I swear on all that is sacred in my life that this is all true and that it really happened! I think I have found my new hero!