I keep hearing about this Friday Five thang that webloggers do. Some dude posts questions on Friday and participating webloggers post the answers on their site. Interesting concept - needs some work. (ie. the questions should be mailed to participants on Friday mornings...)

So I'll join in, but with a big heaving sigh of resignation (Dave, you can stop pestering me about this now) and secure in the knowledge that I'm never going to actually post my answer on a Friday. So there.

1. What's your favorite animal? Gnats. They're small enough that you can carry a bunch around in your pockets and no one's the wiser. And you can smack them around when you're angry and no one rats you out to the animal welfare people. When you're kicking your dog on the street people get all like, "Hey! Don't kick that adorable, innocent dog!" But when you smack around your pet gnats they're all like, "Man, way to go - you killed like 8 of them!". And they don't leave poop in your shoes.

2. What pets have you had in your lifetime? I once had a dog that dragged me across an open field for no apparent reason. And people wonder why I don't like dogs.

3. Is there any specific pet that you've wanted but never had? A llama. I had one all picked out but Michael Jackson stole it from me at the last minute.

4. Are you allergic to any animals? Humans.

5. Do you have any 'pet' pet peeves (your pets or others')? I don't think humans evolved for millions of years and survived the rigors of natural selection so that we could prove our superior intelligence by picking up dog feces with plastic shopping bags over our hands.