April 22, 2003
Stop the Spamees
I have discovered the solution to Internet spamming. Instead of prosecuting the companies who send out billions of unwanted messages, let's start prosecuting the 1 in 100,000 people who actually buy the crap that spammers are selling. They are the ones who make spamming a viable business model; without them the whole system would collapse.
I'm speaking to you now. Those of you who prefer to shop via spam:
Your reproductive organs are large enough.
Your local bank has competitive mortgage rates.
eBay has Iraq's Most Wanted playing cards.
She's not really sweet sixteen and waiting for you.
Your Uncle Vern can get you a cable descrambler.
Bald men are sexy.