May 2, 2003
Open letter...
Open letter to the driver of a green PT Cruiser, Massachusetts license number 1881LJ. I'd like to introduce you to something the rest of us like to call The Yield Sign, or more familiarly The Yield (as in "He had The Yield!"). Although The Yield is rarely considered to be among the major arcana of traffic signals, he still serves an important purpose in the world of accident prevention.
Let's say, in a purely hypothetical example, that two cars are approaching the exact same point in space at the exact same moment in time. Now I hear you say, "But Tara, that's clearly in violation of the laws of physics!" And I say to you, "You're absolutely right. Something must be done." Because without intervention, the PT Cruiser might suddenly find it's rear fender embedded in the side of a Kia Spectra (hypothetically).
I also hear you cry, "Two objects hurtling on a collision course... shouldn't one let the other go by?!" Early civil engineers, anticipating such space-time paradoxes, instituted a simple, yet elegant solution to this quandary of physics. The Yield Sign. You see, while The Yield doesn't have the raw power and control of The Traffic Light or the stoic efficacy of The Stop Sign, it does have a gentle dignity all its own. It prevents those two cars, the PT Cruiser and the Kia, from coming into direct contact by effectively telling one of the cars, "Please wait while the other goes by."
How brazen, yet coy.
Such quiet power.
The Yield Sign.
Now, Mr. Driver of a green PT Cruiser, Massachusetts license number 1881LJ, you may have mistaken The Yield Sign for some other type of common signage -- an ad for Denny's perhaps? But I assure you, The Yield was pointed in your direction and for whatever reason you chose not to recognize it's authority. Our door handles nearly kissed, our fenders nearly tangled in a passionate embrace, I nearly said a Very Bad Word in front of my preschooler as I made rapid downward pressure upon my braking apparatus. I can only hope that some personal emergency like violent diarrhea was the cause of your recklessness and that you don't display that devil-may-care attitude in other areas of your life. I would hate to see you get hurt. Really.
Comments
So immensely clever. Man, oh man, I wish I was inspired as you are.