May 22, 2003
Early Adopter
I would love to be an early adopter, but I'm too poor to make the cut. When I read essays and marketing books about early adopters, the authors neglect to say that these people have to be fairly wealthy to remain on the cutting edge of new products. Especially in technology. Did you have $2000.00 to toss away on the first generation of DVD players? I had to wait until they came down to $88.00 at BJ's. So nix on being a technology early adopter.
I'm part of the highly-coveted niche market of early adopters for products under $10. Got an innovative new nail clipper design? I'm there. Dunkin Donuts coming out with a new flavor? I'll stop there after work. Got a fridge that's also a telephone and a home gym? Ask this guy.
In that vein, last night at the dollar store I decided to become an early adopter of LifeSavers Fusions for $1.50. The commercials, while forgettable, show a futuristic-looking candy with a spherical neon core surrounded by a sparkling crystal-clear mantle. In reality, the neon center is an amorphous blob that bleeds into a cloudy layer stippled with bubbles. Less futuristic and more Manufacturing Mistake #0745.
Yes, I smelled the candy. And it smelled like someone was eating a hard candy... four offices away. The candy was practially odorless -- a technology that Dr. Scholls should be contacting LifeSavers about.
LifeSavers Fusions aspire to taste like Jolly Ranchers, but they're actually the genetically watered-down second cousins of that bastion of hard candy. The first flavor that hit me was neither kiwi, nor strawberry. It was a salty/sweet tang, not unlike antifreeze. I made it to the (purportedly) kiwi core of the first one, but only got as far as the "strawberry" (notice the quotes) mantle on the second try. The cherry/strawberry didn't stay in my mouth long enough to get past the first wave of flavor. If I had been looking for a cherry cough drop, I would have bought something marked Halls.
The only area in which LifeSavers Fusions succeed is their pleasing and mouth-fitting round shape. Something the Jolly Rancher branch of the confectionary family has yet to master.
Comments
"commercials, while forgettable?" I am an actor in one of those commercials...believe it or not...c'mon, aren't they even a little funny? Throw me a bone.
I tried to think of something nice to say about the commercial, but I honestly can't remember a thing about them. ;-)
Oh wait! There was an opthamologist with sticky fingers... was that you?