June 20, 2003
Don't think of a pink elephant
Dave and I saw the Blue Man Group for his birthday in May. I meant to post about it then, but you know how those things can get away from you. Before we went, I had the idea that a Blue Man Group show would be a clever rock concert. I had no idea how much comedy would be involved -- or upper GI endoscopies. But that's all I'll say about that. I think you need to go into the show for the first time without knowing exactly what to expect. Fear adds to the experience.
For some reason, and this has never happened to me before, I had to pee really badly during the show. Notice the bold typeface. That's my way of saying "so badly that I was about to cry, so badly that I could only focus on that one idea, so badly that I was actually missing the show while staring right at it."
But Blue Man Group is not a show that you can nonchalantly mosey out of for a number of reasons:
1. They will heckle you. Not the audience, the performers. Three blue men will stop whatever they are doing and silently stare at you as you leave the theater. They may accost you. They may not. You have to take the chance.
2. The theater is small. Far be it from me, Mrs. 400-Square-Foot Apartment for Three, to complain. But it was tiny. When you got up, you were in everyone's way and you practically had to climb over laps to get out of the row.
3. We were smack in the middle of the row. I actually counted seats to see which would be the least intrusive exit and even though right had one more person than left, it was Dave, who doesn't count. Plus, right was farther away from the stage where the freaky blue guys were.
4. Once you navigate out, get to the bathroom and get back upstairs, you somehow have to climb back over the ticked off people without attracting Blue Man attention.
I managed to slip out when the lights went down for a filmstrip on fractals. I got back, much relieved, and snuck back in as the Blue Men were doing some kind of shaving cream thing. I felt awful because I detest people who interrupt a performance for a bathroom break. I've never had to before in my life. Must have been the sake at dinner.
Final word: See the Blue Man Group, skip the sake.