October 16, 2003
Mind the gap... or not. Your call.
My train was an hour late getting home tonight, thanks, in part, to the actions of one boneheaded commuter. To begin with, the train engine started smoking. While this is normal on steam engines, it's apparently not nearly as good on an electric train. So we stopped to put out the fire and mill around and whatever else they were doing up in front. And this is where the wacky Twilight Zone stuff started happening.
From what I was told by some nurses on board, a man got off the train after repeated warnings on the loudspeaker NOT to get off the train. Did I mention these warnings were pretty stern (as stern as you can get while dropping your "R's"). Apparently, the warnings applied to everyone BUT one guy who, for whatever reason, left the train. The smoking engine was quickly fixed and the train started moving. After this guy's first brilliant decision to disregard the loudspeaker, he came up with another stunning move. He ran after the train and tried to jump onto it. Hang on, I think that sentence deserves its own private line with walk-in closets and heated garage.
He ran after the train and tried to jump onto it.
I don't know about you, but my fantasies of being James Bond, Macgyver or even The Greatest American Hero ended in 1987. I can't jump onto a moving train. And neither, apparently, could this guy. The phrase the nurses used was "caught between something." I shudder to think what things one could become wedged between on a moving train. None of them are good.
The train lurched to a stop again and we waited for 15 minutes before being told to disembark (you see, this time they WANTED us to leave the train). I could see two ambulances, a fire truck and emergency personnel carrying a stretcher and backboard. How's that whole jumping onto a moving train thing workin' out for ya man?
And just so we're all on the same page... I have sympathy for the people who had limbs aputated out of the blue during yesterday's Staten Island ferry accident. They're heading home after a rough day in the city and *boom* disaster strikes — no fault of their own. But this guy... he brought his woes upon himself.
Editorial assistance provided by Tara. I described the story and she ghostwrote.
Comments
I worked for a circus for a time...i saw them beat the elephants bloody to get them to perform tricks...you and your children were duped, you thinks its 'wonderful, wholesome entertainment, its not. One third of all performing elephants have human strain tuberculosis, including elephants giving rides in various shows around the country. The elephants are somehow also getting herpes, and dying.
I cried every day about the things I saw being done to the animals,I had to quit, because of it...please dont go...please dont display pictures of it as if its something to be admired, its not. Court
What are you talking about? We did no such thing, and this post isn't about the circus! Weird.