October 22, 2003
Comment from England
Name: Mirella
URL: http://England
Comments:
hi i have e-mailed you a couple of time before and i really like what what you
do you like deth more then life and maybe when i get old enough i might do the
same one day in life but all i have to say to you is good luck and i hope you
recover and you are allowed to eat bibi and good luck to you and your
girlfriend.
love from the bigest of the bigest fan
Mirella age 19
I received three (3) copies of this comment today. It makes me indescribably sad that this self-professed nineteen-year-old:
1) Can't tell the difference between Liloia.com and DavidBlaine.com. I mean, at the very least she should notice that Liloia is a much shorter URL and doesn't have the words "David" or "Blaine" in it.
2) Posted thrice. She posted the comment once, watched it show up on the page, posted it again, watched it show up on the page, posted it again, watched it show up on the page, then presumably left the computer to lie in a sunbeam or count spilled toothpicks.
3) Has not mastered punctuation. That has to be the longest run-on sentence ever. I may be a comma-lovin' fool, but I've at least found the Shift key.
4) Posted her URL as http://England. Wow, a comment from the entire country of England. I think that beats Strongbad's email from the entire town of Cory, North Dakota.
5) "i hope you recover and you are allowed to eat bibi" What is this "bibi" she speaks of and is it good to eat? Even if Mirella says you can eat it, should you really trust her? After reading this letter, I wouldn't put it past Mirella to be sticking things like retaining bolts and dryer lint in her mouth.
OH. oh.
I should write back to Mirella. Yeeeeessss.
Dear Mirella,
Thank you for writing to me at my personal web site. Not many people know that not only am I Public Masochist, David Blaine, I am also David and Tara Liloia. I'm proud of you for uncovering my secret life as two upper-lower-class Bostonite bloggers.
I don't usually write back to fans, but the candor and earnestness of your letter was strangely provocative. I deleted the first two copies, but the third lodged itself in my brain and drew me close to your words. You are persistent and that's one quality I can't help but identify with.
As someone who pushes the envelope as a profession, I empathize with your desire not to conform to social constructs like punctuation and capitalization. It pleases me the way you taunt death by spelling his name "deth". I can only imagine the twinkle in your eye as you do so.
Thank you for your well wishes and the hope that I have eaten Bibi. The Bibi is not quite ripe yet (due to an unusually rainy summer), but I hope that by the Spring it will be ready. Perhaps you would like to join me in the eating of the Bibi?
As far as being old enough to try the stunts I have mastered, I think I can confidently say that you are ready now. If you have a large block of ice, an airtight Plexiglass box or some other dangerous tool, please use it on yourself. I think you will be pleased with the results. I think we all will.
Yours truly,
David Blaine
Comments
Wow, that's a sad and frightening comment on the state of youth and the educational system. I always thought the Brits were supposed to be bright and clever...
Love the new page design, by the way. Must have been quite a task, what with you trapped in that Perspex box for a month and a half ;-)
That scares me so much, especially being British myself. I have to say that on behalf of my country we apologise for spammers. Once we've finished apologising for the food, the weather, the spice girls...
I would go on, but Im not going to.
I am one of davids most bigges fans. I think that he has done extremely well over the past few years, so good luck for the future!!
I love you!!