December 1, 2003
Obligatory Introspective Birthday List
Ten personal flaws and vices that I have no intention of changing in my 29th year since they served me so well in my 28th:
- I read books halfway through and leave them all over the house in neat little stacks that can serve as stepstools or miniature tables.
- I use way too much toilet paper.
- I peek into wrapped presents.
- I volunteer for more activities than there are hours in the day.
- I don't answer my phone or return messages.
- I interrupt people carelessly.
- I throw out things that belong to other people.
- I believe that slapping a CD player will make it stop skipping.
- I sit way too close to the steering wheel.
- I arrive far later than is socially acceptable.
If you know me, you're snickering and saying "Darn right, you do."
If you don't know me, consider this a warning.
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