February 27, 2004
Cartoon Network 101
I try to be familiar with every show that I allow Trevor to watch, but it takes time to figure out the grade-school equivalents of the West Wing and the Bachelorette. I'd love to pretend that I vet every click of the remote, but dishes need washing, lunches need assembling, and carpets need vacuuming. I restrict him to Cartoon Network which at least limits the potential for encountering the Power Rangers and Ninja Turtles.
A couple of the shows Trevor likes are bursting with backstory — anime things with epic plot arcs spanning centuries of feudal Japanese history. I knew I was in over my head when I learned that Yugi Mutou and Yami Yugi are two different characters. Below are my impressions mixed in with a handful of facts about each of the shows I've seen on Cartoon Network, presented here for other parents who are curious about what junior watches (and in solicitation of your helpful additions).
Caveat: Most of these shows only got my attention for a few minutes during trips through the living room. Please amend my fuzzy impressions with your facts.
Justice League — Seven of the most powerful beings in the universe are assembled in a single blockbuster show. Not that one. Sometimes JL is borderline cheez because superheroes tend to take themselves a bit too seriously. Trade hazard, I guess. I'm waiting for the episode in which Superman's massive shoulders get him stuck inside of a revolving door. In other news, I think I have a slight crush on Green Lantern.
Teen Titans — I didn't think I would like this show. I rolled my eyes at commercials showing a lot of teen angst and pizza jokes. Turns out, it can be kind of awkward fighting evil when your T-zone is breaking out. And it kind of bites when an evil overlord holds the city under seige until you agree to bring his daughter to the prom. Go ahead and guess my favorite character... Azarath Metrion Zinthos.
Samruai Jack — Genndy Tartakovsky is the Aaron Sorkin of animation; he tells classic stories in an invigoratingly fresh way. When the show ends you feel sated and excited at the same time. I like this one for many reasons — not the least of which is that there are only two pertinent characters; Samurai Jack and Aku. Pure Good vs. Unspeakable Evil. Compelling artwork. Unobtrusive time travel. Funky theme song. An entire episode with no dialogue.
Dragonball Z — There's this guy, Goku and he's apparently pure of heart. They have a blood test for that now... Southern blot and all that. Anyways, like all who are pure of heart, Goku can shoot beams of energy from his hands. (The Dalai Lama does that trick at parties after a few too many O'Douls'.) There are about 109 other characters who are, in order, the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, etc. most powerful beings in the world. Some are pure of heart, some are not. A couple can travel through time. All of them are formidable fighters. Personally, I'd love to see a show about the signficantly less talented warriors. Those that didn't make the cut in Saiyan Warrior Idol.
Yu-Gi-Oh! — My first impression is that this is Dragonball Z with trading cards. I like Yami Yugi's spiky 'do, but there are so many characters and monsters I want to cry just looking at the game site. I gather that card-based dueling is involved because a pair of Yu-Gi-Oh shoes I scoped out for Trevor had the phrase, "It's time to duel!" emblazoned on the side. I honestly tried to read the backstory, but when I got to, "Legend has it five thousand years ago..." my brain shut down with an audible click. Somebody 'splain it to me with flash cards.
Dexter's Laboratory — It's smart, it's absurd, it's brilliant. I'm biased toward Dexter because I do an uncannily good Dee Dee impression and a passably good Mandark cackle. But what's with that accent? Is Dexter somehow from the Balkans while the rest of his family is from the midwest? Dubious originis aside, I dare you not to groove to the Back to the Lab Again song.
The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy — This is my kind of story. Clever, jaded little Mandy ensnares Death as her personal minion forever. How did she capture the Grim Reaper -- was it some sort of ethereal battle waged in the heavens? No, it was a limbo contest. And let's not forget that Grim is sweet on Eris, the goddess of chaos, who doesn't return his affection. That makes for an interesting date.
Ed, Edd & Eddy — By far, my least favorite of the Cartoon Network offerings. The Eds adventures are rife with scams, greed, violence, stupidity and just plain meanness. The trio brings to mind the Three Stooges as mean teenagers. They're always rigging up immense backyard Rube Goldberg contraptions in order to earn a single quarter. I'll send these three a quarter if they'd just stop pummeling each other. You know a show is on thin ice when the most intriguing character is a 2" x 4" board with a crayon face named Plank. Plank sees things.
Codename: Kids Next Door — I don't understand why the kids' codenames all begin with "Numbah." Are they all from Dorchester? The KND are rivaled by the Delightful Children from Down the Lane who are known for listening to adults and adhering to curfews. Uh oh. I think we're rooting for the wrong side of the street.
Totally Spies — This show takes radical feminism and crams it into a combination lip gloss Glock 9. They're chicks and they're spies to be reckoned with, but that doesn't prevent them from being, like, completely airheaded and beauty obsessed. Like, totally! Trevor sincerely enjoys this show and I don't know whether it's the catsuit-clad teens or the fashion tips that he's enjoying more.
- Courage the Cowardly Dog
- Hamtaro
- Jackie Chan Adventures
- The New Scooby-Doo Movies
- The Powerpuff Girls
- Transformers Armada
- Whatever Happened to Robot Jones?
- Yu Yu Hakusho
Comments
My favorite cartoon on Cartoon Network was Cow and Chicken, but I dont know if they show it anymore. And the early episodes of Johnny Bravo, before they got that annoying Karl in. Ah, good times. I havent watched Cartoons for so long.
In this violent world today, all every viewer seems to hear is sexuality, drugs, and violence. What's going on is that this crazy planet is maturing too much. Thankfully with Dick Parsons ruling as the Time Warner Chief, he guaranteed us something to relax with. Which programs I like best? The Teen Titans and Totally Spies are the 2 best cartoons in the 21st century. By the Hoover Dam, they convinced me they are in reality!
look if you make fun of ed edd & eddy you just luwerd yourself on the social scale from freak to stupid sissy poodle with no brain. and that score will go lower if you bring that trash called powerpuff girls on to your allready stipid site FREAK!