I got another 419 Scam email today. I know, you're jealous. You want to be as popular with the Nigerians as I am. I assure you, it's the red hair.

But if you can't be loved by the Nigerians, why not be like the Nigerians?! I've created a Personalized 419 Scam Generator for those of you who would like to send out plaintive missives that beg wealthy Americans to set up bank accounts for you. Use it wisely, more 419 features to come.

Last night I started my new part-time job at Barnes & Noble bookstore as a bookseller. So far, so good. I am going to be mostly working the register, checking customers out and other basic tasks. Aside from getting paid for my time, there are a few great benefits.

- 30% off of almost all the books

- 50% off of anything edible in the cafe

- Hardcover books can be borrowed like a library for 2 weeks at a time.

This is going to be cool.

I received three Nigerian 419 letters this morning in my inbox. My help is urgently needed to secure the fortunes of three prominent Nigerian businessmen. My goodness, I certainly can't help all of them, so who should I choose?

Amos Adams is offering 20% of $21,320,000.00 while Nicholas Ude, wants me to have 20% of his 25.5M. But the best offer yet is from Dr. Frank Ugochukwu who is offering 30% of $32,053,000.00.

(Darn those Nigerians making me whip out a calculator!)

Nick and Frank apparently both work for the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation. I wonder if they know each other? Maybe I should introduce them. They could both be searching for help in solitude not knowing one of their own coworkers shares in the same misery. Perhaps NNPC could start an employee assistance program for workers who have tens of millions of US dollars that they can't seem to access without my help.

I'm a little concerned that the caps lock key seems to be stuck on Franks keyboard. But I guess he's waiting until he gets his millions to order a new iBook.

And then on Sunday night, Dave caught the virus that Trevor had. His blood sugar dropped down to near-comatose levels and he ended up drinking the sugar syrup that I had made for lemonade and crunching lollipops to get the number over 40 before he passed out. Fun.

Later that morning (4am) he was just as sick as Trevor had been in the park. More fun. You wish you could pretend you didn't hear the horrid sounds coming from the bathroom and just go back to sleep, but you're the spouse, married for good and bad (and horribly digusting) and you *have* to go help.

The Liloias would like a "do-over" on our holiday weekend, please.

Yesterday we trekked into Boston and enjoyed an afternoon with Clay and Merrill at the Hatch Shell, right on the Charles River. 92.5 was sponsoring a free concert (RiverFest) that included They Might Be Giants, Patti Smith, and Suzzane Vega. We really only wanted to see They Might Be Giants, which is what we did. Unfortunately Trevor was not feeling well and right before we left he successfully cleared an area of approximately 10 feet around us by showing everyone what he had for lunch.

For anyone that has seen Episode II already, this mpeg depicts what most will agree are some of the best scenes in the movie. If you have not seen it yet, you may not want to see this as it might give too much away. Great clip.

Great Warrior

No wonder it took so long for women to get the vote. Who would want something called "suffrage"? Sounds like it hurts.

I have the innate ability to bestow a Super Bowl win on the home team of whichever town I happen to live in. In 1997, I moved to Wisconsin and the Packers took the Patriots in a 35-21 win. But turnabout was fair play when I brought my family to Boston last year and the Patriots had a 20-17 win over St. Louis.

I am looking to to hire myself out to NFL teams looking for a Super Bowl victory. Besides moving expenses to the team's city, what does one charge for something like that?

David Blaine is about the lamest guy in the world right now. I haven't seen such a bad acting job since Tori Spelling in the 1996 made-for-tv movie "Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?"

Some things that might have made David Blaine's Vertigo a tad more interesting:

- Pneumatic nail guns are distributed to live audience members who take shots at him on the pole for 34 hours.

- Learning that 7 members of Al-Queda were responsible for constructing the 90-foot pole.

- One word: Grease.

- Seven strangers picked to live on a pole together for three months.

- Forget pigeons, David Blaine resurrects Lane Staley for a pole-top performace of Angry Chair.

- Anyone other than David Blaine on the pole.

You've probably heard harsh criticism of the Bush administration for not divulging pre-9/11 threat warnings. As a knee-jerk reaction, nearly every day this week there's been a senior official publicly warning that more terror attacks in the US are certain, even imminent. Even Evil Robot Cheney is joining in the 'sky is falling' fray - and as we all know, robots (even evil ones) are incpable of lying. So do you feel any more informed? Do you feel better able to protect yourself and your family now that you know the worst is coming? I sure don't.

Intelligence information isn't like a David Blaine stunt; it rarely comes with a date, time and place - just the notion that 'something's up'. Passing on that kind of nonspecific information, while not scary enough to incite panic among jaded and blase Americans as an increase in the price of a Big Mac would, is enough to give us a vague sense of dread. The same kind of dread we experience when we think the transmission might be going on our car, but it's still driveable. Do we take any kind of proactive measures now or wait until we break down on the Pike?

Waiting for the breakdown (or the bomb in this case) can be a very costly route. But what is the alternative?

If large cities like Boston and New York are targets and nuclear attacks are also a possibility, should I let my husband go into work in the heart of Boston each day? Economically, he has to go since he has sick days, vacation days, but no terrorist threat days in his benefit plan.

If the inevitable happens will he be stuck in the city without a car while things go from bad to worse? I can't get to him or Trevor without at least a 45-minute drive toward the city. I found myself last night trying to remember the back roads from work to day care in the event that highways were blocked or otherwise unusable. I started taking inventory of my 9/12 stash of canned and dry goods - purchased when I was convinced there was going to be an all-out invasion and we would be fleeing west.

Warnings about possible terrorism help no one but the political camp that's doing the warning. It gives them the right to point out their foresight in a post-terror "I told you so" without committing to any real details beforehand. Cover-your-ass politics, thanks for the agita.

Something interesting that I didn't know, but found out today.

What do the letters A.M & P.M. stant for?

They stand for..................

Okay, I will agree that there are things that the government keeps from us, but this is just plain crazy.

Coincidence or Conspiracy?

Wasn't it in the water?

CNN.com - Navy research sub catches fire off California - May 22, 2002

why Samuel L. Jackson is so cool. We all joked about his lightsaber and compared it to his wallet in Pulp Fiction. This is from the trivia section of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.

"Samuel L. Jackson is reported to have "B.M.F." engraved into the handle of his lightsaber. B.M.F. is short for "Bad Mother F***er" and was written on Jules' (Samuel L. Jackson) wallet in Pulp Fiction (1994)."

This morning, all the papers are talking about the possibility that terrorists are targeting the Statue of Liberty. The horror! The tragedy!, huh? Not really. If there was going to be another terrorist attack, wouldn't that location be preferred to another huge building? The Statue of Liberty is a symbol of our country but I think most of us would agree that we would rather lost a huge metal monument than the lives of thousands more Americans. That would be the real tragedy.

It's true, we have been neglecting our site here at Liloia.com
Things in our life have been really hectic, not really bad or strange just really hectic. As Tara mentioned in her post earlier today, there are a lot of new things going on around here. And now it is time to take some time off. We are starting to plan a vacation, which will hopefully take place before the summer is over. We skipped last summer, and took the time at home while Trevor's school was closed. Now we are starting to get frazzled and need some real time away.

I was reading this article and it nearly made me fall on the floor laughing.

Lawmakers: New terrorist attack almost certain - May 20, 2002

Almost certain? Is that like being a little bit pregnant? They say that in the next three to five years there is a possibility that there will be another terrorist attack in the United States and that it will happen in an apartment building. Go figure. It's a good thing that there are so few apartment buildings across the U.S., that will probably help them narrow it down pretty quickly. Not that I don't appreciate the forewarning but could they have been any more vaugue? If they really have no information, is it useful to put it out there and make people nervous? I would prefer if they waited until they had something credible and realistic to tell us rather than this useless information. All this is successful in doing is scaring people who are already frightened as it is.

Also, think about the last 5-10 years. There have been more internal attacks on the U.S from Americans than I would like to count. So wouldn't it make sense that although we don't want it to happen, the chance that and Amercian will bomb something in the US is almost 100%. If that is the case shouldn't they be warning us that some American is going to flip his lid and pop off a few co-workers in the next 3-5 years as well? See what I mean? I hope they got this message out to Lucas Helder: Alleged pipe bomber, Timothy McVeigh, Ted Kaczynski, The Columbine Community, Michael McDermott .

For anyone who has not seen the new Star Wars movie, go see it and this will make a whole lot more sense.

First of all, we've been ignoring our site for far too long. But electrons have to take a back seat when in one month your car breaks down, your son gets an ear infection, there are 4 doctor visits, two ridiculously expensive and tortuous dentist visits, a two week deposit for a new day care, Mother's Day, two birthdays, a string of bad hair days and a dangerous brush with a single digit checking account balance.

Now that things are righting themselves, I have the mental energy to start extending my harsh and unending criticism to all things again.

Survivor: At least Boston Rob didn't win. That guy is just the kind of trashy fool that thinks he's admired by all women, yet at the same time he's shakingly insecure. His false bravado, third-grade attempts at strategy and horrible facial hair patterns were getting on my nerves. But I don't think the final pair was that much better.

I can't help thinking "Whoa Nell-eh!" Every time I see Neleh's name. If you want your kid's name pronounced that way, name her Naleea or even Nalia. And "Oh my heck!" is quickly replacing "Hm, I guess the Novocain isn't working." as my least favorite phrase ever.

But Vecepia. Oh V, you disappoint me. I can jive with Christianity. If you're all into living your life the way a man named Jesus did, I think that's great. But I have a hard time believing that Jesus' intention was to encourage deceit -- as long as you ask for forgiveness afterwards. In one confessional (how appropriate), V admits that betraying a friend was wrong of her, but absolves herself by saying that as long as she asked God and the person for forgiveness later, it was all okay. You've got two buns and no meat, honey! Aren't you missing the whole repentance part?!

Now maybe someone who is better versed than me in Christian dogma could clarify things, but is it really Jesus' hope that we'll all act like amoral heretics then just make the bad stuff disappear from our permanent record by phoning in a faux apology? If that's the case, then Christianity is the bestest religion ever!

This seemed like a pretty interesting article.

Where is the Titanic when you need it?

CNN.com - Monster iceberg breaks off Antarctic ice shelf - May 9, 2002

Here is a very detailed and personal account of one man's descent out of World Trade Center Tower Two moments before its collapse:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/wtc/above.html

Doing a little better today than I have been in a week or so. My energy levels have been pretty low and I have been sleeping like crap. I have an appointment to go see a new endocrinologist in the middle of June, which is a long time to wait. Today I was feeling relatively peppy coming in today and I was almost running to work (I don't know why). I am starting to think that this is related more to the fact that I am going to see Spider-Man tonight.178

My buddy Lisa from Illinois, hurt her wrist playing volleyball the other day. She says that it has swollen up and looks like a purple grapefruit. She wants to keeps the huddled masses updated on her recovery as well, so here is her medical condition...

"Not missing as many keys while typing, pain level consistant, purple color
fading to a light blue"

I asked Trevor again what Dave's birthday present should be, and found I had misremembered the name of the toy. Apparently, his dad really needs a Matchbox Radio Rescue Playset. The kid couldn't even pronouce all of the words correctly, but he remembered the exact name. Good marketing job, Mattel.

You know you are a dad, and that you have fully accepted this role, when you find yourself unraveling a tangled Slinky™ while being asked to read a book, find a blankie, and get a glass of water. There is nothing better.

I know how Daryl feels. For reference, check out his post from April 29th on his personal blog. I find myself every day working on how to make things better, smoother, faster in my daily life. It is a science.

In the morning, when I get on the train, I step on at the last car. This places me closest to the escalator when we get to my stop. On the way home, I do the same, and I even have it worked out so that I stand on a crack in the platform which is where the train generally stops, all of this after fine tuning where the car actually stops each day.

At work, I open my applications in the order in which I use them, and the software I use for helping customers arranged so I always know where each tool is without looking. I try to minimize the amount of information I keep on my walls here at work and catalog it all away with tabs for easy reference in clear protective sheets. I delete my email, I clean my desk every day and I try to figure out what I am doing inefficiently regularly. This is my passion, now if I could only figure out how to make more money by being so focused on process and improvement. Daryl, I feel your pain.

Trevor announced today that he's getting Dave a Hot Wheels Service Center Playset. for Dave's birthday. "We can share it!", he declared.

Don't shop at CatalogFavorites.com - at least not if you're in a hurry. I placed an order on April 12 and selected 7-10 day shipping. No notice of backorder or out of stock items, so I assumed they'd be here weeks ago. I just got notice today that the items have just shipped. Unfortunately, they were for a birthday this weekend - I don't need them anymore.

Moviefone.com is keeping Spiderman times a secret. I have never seen this before, but they are only listing available times for today and tomorrow. They usually list available movie times for several days in the future. And Fandango will only give me times for Cambridge, Boston and Somerville. Why the big secret?