Liloia.com

Your Mom month comes to an end...

In a few days, the Second Annual Your Mom month will have come to an end. This year was very successful, we received some traffic from MetaFilter, passed the word on to some new converts, and had a good time.

I am thinking that next year I may want to step things up a bit. I hear that it is not all that expensive to rent space on a billboard. I'll have to look into that as an option.

Thanks to all who participated, and as always...

YOUR MOM.

Yan Can Cook....

...but Tara can't. Well, usually she can. Tara's cooking is of legends. We had a party with some work people and the Monday after the party, people who had not attended the party approached me to compliment her cooking. Apparently the descriptions of her food were tasty enough to solicit praise.

Not Sunday. For some reason, yesterday everything that Tara made came out wrong. Cookies (ech), Banana Bread (Ew), Zucchini Pie (Urp), and some other thing that I am not sure was even food. It wasn't enough that the food tasted weird, and/or came out as sludge on the baking sheet. Some of the food made us sick.

I think I know the reason why. They say sometimes when someone loses one of their senses that the other are enhanced. For example, a blind person may be able to hear, feel or taste better after losing their sight.

Recently, Tara has been spending some more time trying to work on some of her creative writing. Focusing her energy on these pieces has left her deficient in her creative culinary arts.

I'll let this one slide, but if she keeps it up, I may have to go elsewhere for my fix.

:)

Breakfast Club

Tara, Trevor and I spent the last few days between here and NJ for the Thanksgiving holiday. While we had a great time, and everyone was very happy to see us, the trip is always exhausting. I told Tara last night that someday I am going to buy us a helicopter so we can pop down anytime we like and not deal with the long drive. Trevor's ear started bothering him again, as have mine. Hopefully I am not working on Sunday so I can chill out.

I am actually at work today. I volunteered to come in to PerkinElmer to cover the phones for my department (or portion of my department) for this really slow day after Thanksgiving. The phone rang twice so far and only one customer placed an order. I took care of all the other things here, fax orders, paperwork, etc. Just finished it all up. Now I have about 4 hours left to kill. Gonna run out for lunch in a bit.

There are about 6 people here today, hanging out, chatting, sitting at our desks. This reminds me of The Breakfast Club. Ally Sheedy, and Molly Ringwald are represented by two of the young ladies here. I am left to ponder which of the guys I am in this scenario. While it might be cool to be Judd Nelson, I don't think that would fit. I think I am Anthony Michael Hall, although I haven't blown my locker up yet.

Well, I am off to crawl through the drop ceiling. Later.

Scanned Books

Yesterday I was working at the Bookstore, and a customer came up to purchase some childrens books. They included some sticker books, Berenstain Bears and Eric Carle's - The Very Hungry Caterpillar Board Book. I scanned all of the items in, and scanned the Caterpillar book last.

As I bagged up the book, the guy buying the books started cracking up and called his wife over to the register. After laughed for a second, he called me over and made me look at the register display that is turned towards the customer. so they can see each item as it is rung up.

The last book rang up as follows: Very Hung - $9.95

Hysterical. If we sold that, I think there would be a line of customers out the door every day!

Harry Potter Losers!

**** PLEASE READ THIS ENTIRE POST AND THE RELATED LINKS IF YOU INTEND ON COMMENTING TO THIS POST - IF YOU DO NOT AND MAKE A KNEE JERK REACTIONARY COMMENT YOU WILL BE RIDICULED BY ANYONE WHO IS INTELLIGENT ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE A FOOL AND POTENTIALLY BANNED FROM THIS SITE ****

On September 20th, I wrote this post about the next Harry Potter Book which referenced this article. In the article, the reporter clearly states the following information:

Rowling told the Journal that the fifth book's delay is due to exhaustion from her last book, the distractions of fame, the length of the manuscript and changes in her personal life. Rowling, who remarried last December and has a nine-year-old daughter, said she is four months pregnant.

Although Rowling declined to give a specific date for when she will submit the manuscript, she didn't dismiss a suggestion that the story could be submitted within three to six months. "When will I hand it in? I don't want to say, but it won't be very long," she told the Journal.

Once submitted and thoroughly edited, a finished book could be produced in as little as two months, according to the paper.

Many have speculated that the fifth book is late because the first four Potter books were published every summer since 1997.

But Rowling said she never set a publication date for the fifth one, and put down rumors that she has struggled with writer's block.

"I needed to step off the one-book-a-year treadmill," she told the Journal. "I knew people would say that she's lost it. But that's the price you pay for doing what you need to do -- do good work and maintain quality."

Likewise, her publishers have worked through legal difficulties surrounding the Potter series. Scholastic and Warner Bros. received a summary judgment earlier this week that Rowling hadn't copied any material from children's author Nancy Souffer.

Okay, no let's make sure that it is clear. NO ONE SAID THAT THE NEW BOOK WAS COMING OUT. I NEVER SAID THAT THE NEW BOOK WAS COMING OUT THIS FALL. Most of the morons that posted to that entry didn't even read the article that I posted. They either assumed that it meant it was coming out right away or that I was wrong. Ugh.

Then I updated my post to help the huddled masses further understand what I was saying here, without much success.

Please read everything here before posting......or else be condemned as a fool.

Designing for Mozilla

I have given up trying to fix Liloia.com so that it doesn't show up as one column in Mozilla. I went over the code with a fine tooth comb and can't see where it is messing up. Sorry for those of you that are experiencing this problem. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, please feel free to email me.

UPDATE - Yukino helped me fix our problem and now we are visible in a reasonable format in Mozilla!!!

Thanks Yukino!

Hu's on First

Marie sent this to me yesterday. Very sharp.

Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this update of an old Abbott and Costello routine today after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.

HU'S ON FIRST

By James Sherman

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China, and the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

Harry Potter Movie

This weekend, along with everyone else in creation, the three of us headed out to see Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

CNN.com - 'Harry Potter' sequel earns $87.7 million - Nov. 17, 2002

We are very big fans of the books and enjoyed the first movie, but I was not optimistic going into it. Boy was I wrong. Chamber of Secrets is a much darker, intense movie than the first. My biggest dissapointment with the first movie was that some of the special effects lacked and you could see more cgi than I would like to. They cleaned things up for this edition to the series and improved in some areas as well. The previews could have revealed a bit less, but I can't hold that against them, they are only trying to get people into the seats. Go see it and then let me know what you thought!

Weekend

Coming down Dartmouth Street this morning, I was quickly educated that Boston holds many of the same weather conditions that New York City does in Winter. The tall buildings and walled streets provide an excellent corridor for any kind of cold wind to make short work of commuters walking to their offices.

While the temperature was in the upper 30's, it felt like it was below zero, and my hat and gloves quickly made an appearance. Unfortunately, the wind was blowing so hard that they were all but useless.

This weekend was an interesting one. On Wednesday Trevor started with a nasty sounding cough. We let him go to school on Thursday, but Thursday night decided that he would be better off at home. I stayed with him and took him to the doctors office. They said that he had a chest virus, and a pretty nasty one at that, which many of the nursery school kids were passing around.

Saturday after hitting the movies to see the new Harry Potter movie, he started complaining about his ears. We thought that it was perhaps connected to his cough and not an ear infection, because the doctor had ruled that out on Friday.

Sunday he got increasingly worse, lost his voice, lost hearing in both ears, and was sluggish all day. During the night his fever shot way up and Tara and I spent half the night up and down checking on him. Tara took him to the doctor again today and in the 72 hours since he had last been to the doctors, he developed 2 severe ear infections. Poor kid.

Obviously, we are all looking forward to him getting better and having a few days to recover.

Lightsaber Thoughts

Adam sent this to me this morning. I think his theory has some merit. Any thoughts?

...another thing i noticed

whoever has the red lightsaber always wins over the blue light saber
and whoever has the green lightsaber, always wins red lightsabers

soooo.... what does this say about blue vs green... i'd have to assume that blue would beat green (kind of like the jedi version of rock-paper-scissors)

Plus, i'm assuming this because we know that in episode III, obiwan and anakin will duel... and i'm assuming that obiwan will use his blue saber and anakin will use the green (unless he switches to red in the next film... but i doubt he'll do that until after he loses to obiwan)

Also.. i was embarrased to carry this conversation out in public, because i'm a loser, so i'm emailing it.

Adam, the scary part of this conversation for me, is that I paused to consider your thoughts before I realized that I was lame for doing so.

Friday Five

I was getting ready to make my late Friday Five post, and I realized, IT WAS GONE!! Where did it go? Anyone have any idea?

Turkey Ideas

Are you making the turkey this year?

Here is a new way to prepare your Thanksgiving or Christmas Turkey.


1. Cut out aluminum foil in desired shapes.
2. Arrange the turkey in the roasting pan, position the foil carefully
(see attached)
3. Roast according to your own recipes and serve.
4. Watch your guests' faces.

View image

The Ring

So we went to see The Ring this weekend...

Funny Stuff

Moronic Moviegoers

Dave and I went to see "The Ring" today. It was *incredibly scary*. This from someone who loved The Amityville Horror. But the most disturbing part of the movie was the six-year-old sitting three rows in front of me with her mother.

I commented to Dave as they sat down that a six-year-old shouldn't be seeing a horror movie like this. But in this day and age, I'm afraid to approach anyone with advice without risking a tongue-lashing or possibly a stabbing. So I watched them uneasily until the film started. After grisly supernatural death number one, the woman and her daughter got up and left. Or so I thought.

I was so busy burying my head in Dave's sweater and peeking through my fingers at all kinds of nastiness that I didn't give the pair a second thought until the movie was over. As the house lights came up, I heard from the rear, "Was that 'The Lord of the Rings'?"

A chuckle from a male moviegoer, "Uh, no. That was 'The Ring'"

"Oh I thought it didn't seem right."

Jeez, she sat in the back with that poor little six-year-old the whole time! As if somehow being another 20 feet away from the screen could mitigate the effects of disturbing images such as a live horse being shredded by a boat propeller.

Didn't she realize it was the wrong movie when no Hobbits or Elves appeared?
Or when the only "ring" referred to was on a deadly videotape?
If she sensed something amiss, why not talk to a theater employee? She would have gotten a refund, I'm sure.
And... most stunningly... after several minutes of horrific torture and death, wouldn't you remove your kindergartener even if it was the right movie?

November 11th

Tomorrow is the big day. The last two years, I have been laid off on or around November 11th. That's right, two years in a row this week has been a bad/good thing in our house. Depending on how you look at it, either I lose my job or get the unique opportunity to spend some time with Trevor over the holidays.

To avert some potential misfortune this year I have taken November 11th off. Tara and I will spend the day going to the movies and hanging out together. I also let my boss know that when he lets me go on the 12th, that I won't take it personally. I told him that it isn't his fault and that I won't hold it against him.

The upside of getting laid off for those people who read liloia.com, is that you will have a lot more reading material, since I will have a lot of free time on my hands.

Wish me luck! (By wishing me luck, you can either wish that I keep my job OR get laid off - either one.) I like my job, but I don't pretend to think that I can control the power of the universe.

Harry Potter - 5th Book Update

UPDATE - Harry Potter 5th Book

Apparently according to Otto, not only is the 5th Harry Potter book due out yesterday (it isn't) but I apparently am personally responsible for it. So for those of you that think I am somehow capable of getting a copy of the 5th Harry Potter book 7 months before it is published, feel free to send me a payment for $29.95, and I will mail you a copy of the book.*

Liloia.com: Archives

*This statement in no way implies that a sale of the Harry Potter book is possible. If you are dumb enough to think that just because I read an article about this book, that I have advance copies of it then please feel free to order as many copies as you like!

Redesign

I have been working on a redesign of Liloia.com for the last few weeks. Grabbing a moment here and there as it is available. I am almost to a point that I think I like, so I figured that I would share it. It still needs some fine tuning, and the code looks broken because of the fact that it is not live, but you get the idea. Let me know what you think, and please pass on your suggestions for improvement.

The part of this that I am most proud of is that it doesn't use any tables. All of the design is done with Cascading Style Sheets. Pretty neat stuff.

Here it is: New Look

Friday Five

1. Did you vote in your last elections?

Yes. It was actually also my first time voting in Massachusetts and it was pretty cool.

2. Do you know who your elected representatives are?

Yep. The person I voted for did not win, but Mitt Romney did. We'll see how that turns out.

3. Have you ever contacted an elected representative? If so, what was it about?

Nope, but it is not a bad idea. I do have a friend from college that is now the Mayor of her town, which is pretty cool.

4. Have you ever participated in a demonstration?

Yeah, but it was in high school and it turned out lame.

5. Have you ever volunteered in an election? What was the result?

Yeah, my friend Adam was a volunteer at a polling location and he asked me to help out for a while. I ended up staying the whole night. It was really cool to get the chance to talk to all the people who were coming to vote. They were all very excited to be there and participating. It also gave me some great insight into the makeup of the standard voter. Almost everyone that came in was over 40 and many were senior citizens. Says a lot about the strategy that should be used in getting votes.

Me Time

Tara's family is visting this weekend. It has been a lot of fun so far, laughing, goofing off and hanging out. Today they were headed out to the Cape to visit a cousin of theirs that had triplets recently. I have to be at work at 2:30, so I wasn't able to go. I thought that it would stink to miss the whole day with them, but it is turning out ok.

After they left I ran out and got a haircut. Had been meaning to for a week or so, but when all the things of life get in the way it is easy to forget. After that I grabbed a coffee and headed home. For the last three hours I have been relaxing on the couch watching Season 2 of the Soprano's. Good stuff. If only I could have had this time without the 8 hour shift at Barnes and Noble coming up. Someday..

Terrorist Summit

Okay, so I want to know something, if they knew that this summit was taking place, why didn't they take care of all of these jokers when they had the chance?

CNN.com - South America's 'tri-border' back on terrorism radar - Nov. 7, 2002

What if...

What if this is our 15 minutes?

What if this is as good as it gets?

2 great lines that have inspired some thought this morning.

The Terror is Over

Winona Ryder has been found guilty of grand theft and vandalism. She faces up to three years in prison.

We can all shop Saks with a sigh of relief knowing that this monster will be locked away. She will terrorize the handbag department no more.

From a Kia 6

If curiosity killed the cat and satisfaction brought him back, the cat who read From a Buick 8 is most decidedly still dead.

Don't get me wrong, this is good writing. I have a natural affinity for stories that explore the possibility of haunted objects. And haunted objects-turned-portals are even better. The characters are multi-dimensional (some in more ways than one) and the concept piques my interest. But piquing is right about where the story stalls.

Some critics have claimed that From a Buick 8 lacked suspense, but I completely disagree. It was nothing but suspense -- and the buildup sans payout left me wanting. The story dribbles out a vagely disturbing event here and there, but offers nothing truly shocking. The 'horrible incident' in 1988, which is hyped for several chapters, turns out to be an homage to cheesy Japanese horror movies and not worth the wait.

I knew I was in trouble when the main storyteller, Sandy, repeatedly warns his young listener, Ned, that there are no definitive answers to be had. That's a bad thing because if Ned isn't getting any answers, that means we aren't either. And there's a clear warning sign that a novel is going horribly wrong when most objects/events are labeled 'indescribable' by the narrators.

Dear Mr. King, it's your *job* to describe the indescribable. Lots of love, Tara.

Stephen King seems to have also decided that the real horrors in life are not greenly-illuminated aliens taking over your town or an evil clown stalking you, but the fact that LIFE GOES ON. While you're lying in a ditch on the side of a Maine road, mangled by a minivan, the reckless dunce of a driver is going to sit calmly next to you and offer cheery observations on your crushed torso while ruminating about a Mars Bar.

King himself marvels post-accident, "I have nearly been killed by a character right out of one of my own novels." And the experince seems to have left him with a different idea of what constitutes terror.

You see, weeping on the toilet with eight steel pins in your leg is more devastating in its reality than a haunted hotel. Having your collapsed lung violated and drained by a plastic tube is more gruesome than being eaten by a haunted car. It's just another day at work for the paramedics while you hang between life and death. The Buick that's not really a Buick spits up some alien thing and it's right back to work at the barracks.

King has decided that the truly awful thing about your prom queen being a vengeful, blood-soaked telekinetic is that between the horrific incidents you still have to perform the mundane trivialities of life. You still need to cook dinner, change poopie diapers, and get to work on time because your toddler and gas company don't care that you're being terrorized by supernatural forces.

You see, while it bites to have your car posessed, it bites even more to have it repossessed.

The story instructs us to marvel at the absurdity of this dichotomy. We need to be upset that a man will drive past a fresh highway accident preoccupied with getting to his poker game on time. But about halfway through, we are screaming at the author, "Stephen, we get it! People are self-absorbed and humans quickly get used to living around the macabre. Now move on to the grisly stuff."

When I want disturbing social commentary, I go to Chuck Palahniuk. When I want trapped women peeling the skin off of their own hands to escape captivity, I go over to the Stephen King shelf. Or at least I used to.

Your Mom

Happy "Your Mom" Month

Some people may not understand or even appreciate this, but that does little to change the fact that it exists. November is national "Your Mom" month. The one month of the year that the answer to every question is be default, "Your Mom". This is not a personal attack against anyone's specific mother, but a general humourous jab in the same vein traditional Mom jokes told all over the world every day.

Here is an example:

Adam: "Hey Dave, do you know what is the worst movie in the world?"

Dave: "Your Mom"

Adam: "Hey where should we go for drinks tonight?"

Dave: "Your Mom"

You get the idea. Basically one of three things happens when you expose people to "Your Mom" month.

1) They embrace it and join your taunting of everyone they can meet.

2) They take it personally and think that you are actually talking about their Mom.

3) They get annoyed because you aren't listening to them and constantly saying, "Your Mom".

Any of these results is funny, at least to me, which I guess is all that matters. So please, take the time to really enjoy the remaining three weeks of "Your Mom" month and let me know if you have any questions.

Next month is "Corey Feldman" month, but it isn't as fun as November. Oh and you know what else?

Your Mom.

New Reality Show

If this was a real reality show, Deirdre would have already been booted off the island.

Episode II - Larger than life?

Wayback trip #2

TheForce.net | Episode II

Last Thursday, IMAX had a sneak preview to Star Wars Episode II before it's official release on November 1st. Adam got lucky and won some tickets on WBCN, and invited me to go with him.

If, as Yoda says "Size matters not", then why did George Lucas feel compelled to take Star Wars Episode II from the big screen to the ridiculous screen with IMAX? The movie itself had been cut down from 2.5 hours to just under 2 hours. Numerous scenes that were excessive and just plain silly were hacked out. The difference is noticable, and they thankfully took out the "Sound of Music" scene between Anakin and Amidala.

All that aside, I really didn't enjoy the movie. Taking out the extra scenes only served to emphasize how poor the dialogue was, and dumb the overall relationships between the characters were. Ewan McGregor (my favorite actor/character in both movies) seems to be unable to find the right point to look at when working with a CGI character. This is overly accentuated when the picture is 30 feet high. The romantic relationship would have been perfect between our main charachters, if only they didn't talk at all. The text sounds like a sc-fi version of a Brady Bunch episode, and I am insulted that we were not given something more intelligent. Yoda's scenes, which stole the show in theatres seemed less intense when Yoda is 5 times the height of a girraffe. I was actually difficult to watch those scenes because he was moving so fast. He ended up looking like a big green blur with a lightsaber.

The size of the picture made all of the mistakes with props and scene cuts glaring and pronounced. I am grateful to Adam for inviting me, and we had a great time, but the movie was not the high point of the evening.

I am still holding out hope for Episode III.

Voting

Last night I was able to perform my civic duty and place my vote for the local races including the office of Governor of MA. The candidate I voted for did not win the election, but I am glad to have had the opportunity to participate.

Tara, thanks for helping me get that done before dashing off to work!

Halloween at the Office

Wayback Machine - Stop #1

Here are some pics from Halloween at my office. I am the guy on the right dressed as Spidey.

Look here for some pics of my coworkers...

Back!

Ok, I'll admit it. We let the site go for a week or so there and it feels weird now. Like when you see a cousin that you were friends with as a child, then as an adult you meet again. Just plain weird.

I have about 10 posts in my head to put in, and I will start them this afternoon and just keep going until they are all out there. It will be like taking a trip in the way-back machine.

Let me know what you think.