Liloia.com Archives: February 2004
February 29, 2004
Toe Cheese
Never go food shopping when you are hungry.
Last night we brought home a cache of snacks to help us celebrate the new episode of Teen Titans, which we all watch together each week. We bought spray cheese (c'mon, sometimes you just gotta) and started to get silly. Before I knew it, someone pulled off my sock and sprayed my foot.
Toe. Cheese. Toe Cheese.
Does it get funnier?
What the?
I may or may not have mentioned that my department recently moved our office location over the last few weeks. The building we moved into is the oldest of our site and was remodeled for us to use. While I am not entriely happy about the new digs, I will get used to them.
In a few locations around my office there are these...
...random doorbells embedded in columns. So far we have found two of them, and we can't figure out what they are for. We suspect that they were from when the building was first used, perhaps to call a secretary or some other admin. Weird.
February 28, 2004
JERSEY GIRL DIARY
No, not mine. (Though I'm sure I could muster up a few interesting yarns from good ol' Monmouth County.) This one is director Kevin Smith's sort-of-blog-more-like-column (his unedited voice, but the posts are few (3) and far (months) between) dishing about the making of Jersey Girl.
"Up first, my wife made out with Jason Biggs, as Affleck looked on. Shortly after that, we started shooting the actual scene."
Tucked around the effusive praise for his own movie, you can pick out some interesting production tidbits (No, not celebrities uncensored garbage. Useful stuff like why there's a production company created for every new film.) and photos.
If you're not a fan of the f-word, you may want to have a relaxing cocktail before you read Smith's columns. (And possibly reconsider even being online, for that matter.)
I've liked a few of Kevin Smith's films (Dogma, Chasing Amy) and not-so-much liked a few (Mallrats), but I'm willing to give this one a shot (the trailer piques my interest). Especially with Kevin's money back guarantee:
"If you're not satisfied, I'd be willing to stand at the door of theaters and be like, 'You don't have to pay.'"
— Kevin Smith in Entertainment Weekly
If only Ang Lee had made that promise for The Hulk.
Opens March 19th — watch the Jersey Girl trailer
February 27, 2004
Cartoon Network 101
I try to be familiar with every show that I allow Trevor to watch, but it takes time to figure out the grade-school equivalents of the West Wing and the Bachelorette. I'd love to pretend that I vet every click of the remote, but dishes need washing, lunches need assembling, and carpets need vacuuming. I restrict him to Cartoon Network which at least limits the potential for encountering the Power Rangers and Ninja Turtles.
A couple of the shows Trevor likes are bursting with backstory — anime things with epic plot arcs spanning centuries of feudal Japanese history. I knew I was in over my head when I learned that Yugi Mutou and Yami Yugi are two different characters. Below are my impressions mixed in with a handful of facts about each of the shows I've seen on Cartoon Network, presented here for other parents who are curious about what junior watches (and in solicitation of your helpful additions).
Caveat: Most of these shows only got my attention for a few minutes during trips through the living room. Please amend my fuzzy impressions with your facts.
Justice League — Seven of the most powerful beings in the universe are assembled in a single blockbuster show. Not that one. Sometimes JL is borderline cheez because superheroes tend to take themselves a bit too seriously. Trade hazard, I guess. I'm waiting for the episode in which Superman's massive shoulders get him stuck inside of a revolving door. In other news, I think I have a slight crush on Green Lantern.
Teen Titans — I didn't think I would like this show. I rolled my eyes at commercials showing a lot of teen angst and pizza jokes. Turns out, it can be kind of awkward fighting evil when your T-zone is breaking out. And it kind of bites when an evil overlord holds the city under seige until you agree to bring his daughter to the prom. Go ahead and guess my favorite character... Azarath Metrion Zinthos.
Samruai Jack — Genndy Tartakovsky is the Aaron Sorkin of animation; he tells classic stories in an invigoratingly fresh way. When the show ends you feel sated and excited at the same time. I like this one for many reasons — not the least of which is that there are only two pertinent characters; Samurai Jack and Aku. Pure Good vs. Unspeakable Evil. Compelling artwork. Unobtrusive time travel. Funky theme song. An entire episode with no dialogue.
Dragonball Z — There's this guy, Goku and he's apparently pure of heart. They have a blood test for that now... Southern blot and all that. Anyways, like all who are pure of heart, Goku can shoot beams of energy from his hands. (The Dalai Lama does that trick at parties after a few too many O'Douls'.) There are about 109 other characters who are, in order, the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, etc. most powerful beings in the world. Some are pure of heart, some are not. A couple can travel through time. All of them are formidable fighters. Personally, I'd love to see a show about the signficantly less talented warriors. Those that didn't make the cut in Saiyan Warrior Idol.
Yu-Gi-Oh! — My first impression is that this is Dragonball Z with trading cards. I like Yami Yugi's spiky 'do, but there are so many characters and monsters I want to cry just looking at the game site. I gather that card-based dueling is involved because a pair of Yu-Gi-Oh shoes I scoped out for Trevor had the phrase, "It's time to duel!" emblazoned on the side. I honestly tried to read the backstory, but when I got to, "Legend has it five thousand years ago..." my brain shut down with an audible click. Somebody 'splain it to me with flash cards.
Dexter's Laboratory — It's smart, it's absurd, it's brilliant. I'm biased toward Dexter because I do an uncannily good Dee Dee impression and a passably good Mandark cackle. But what's with that accent? Is Dexter somehow from the Balkans while the rest of his family is from the midwest? Dubious originis aside, I dare you not to groove to the Back to the Lab Again song.
The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy — This is my kind of story. Clever, jaded little Mandy ensnares Death as her personal minion forever. How did she capture the Grim Reaper -- was it some sort of ethereal battle waged in the heavens? No, it was a limbo contest. And let's not forget that Grim is sweet on Eris, the goddess of chaos, who doesn't return his affection. That makes for an interesting date.
Ed, Edd & Eddy — By far, my least favorite of the Cartoon Network offerings. The Eds adventures are rife with scams, greed, violence, stupidity and just plain meanness. The trio brings to mind the Three Stooges as mean teenagers. They're always rigging up immense backyard Rube Goldberg contraptions in order to earn a single quarter. I'll send these three a quarter if they'd just stop pummeling each other. You know a show is on thin ice when the most intriguing character is a 2" x 4" board with a crayon face named Plank. Plank sees things.
Codename: Kids Next Door — I don't understand why the kids' codenames all begin with "Numbah." Are they all from Dorchester? The KND are rivaled by the Delightful Children from Down the Lane who are known for listening to adults and adhering to curfews. Uh oh. I think we're rooting for the wrong side of the street.
Totally Spies — This show takes radical feminism and crams it into a combination lip gloss Glock 9. They're chicks and they're spies to be reckoned with, but that doesn't prevent them from being, like, completely airheaded and beauty obsessed. Like, totally! Trevor sincerely enjoys this show and I don't know whether it's the catsuit-clad teens or the fashion tips that he's enjoying more.
- Courage the Cowardly Dog
- Hamtaro
- Jackie Chan Adventures
- The New Scooby-Doo Movies
- The Powerpuff Girls
- Transformers Armada
- Whatever Happened to Robot Jones?
- Yu Yu Hakusho
February 24, 2004
One FREE frenetic hamster.
Right around your child's 5th birthday, you start to get a little crazy. You decide that a hamster is a great gift for a five year old who can barely remember to change his own clothes, let alone care for another living creature.
About seven months after the birthday party, you realize that the hamster has become yours. And it wasn't even your birthday.
She's an adorable little teddy bear hamster... well groomed, has never bitten any of us, likes the Red Sox and long walks on the beach.
She's tech-savvy -- she was moblogged here:
http://liloia.textamerica.com/?r=368687
Her name is Vorahk, but she seems open to legally changing it for the right
person. She only asks that her next name *not* be that of a Lego cyborg alien.
Included in this special offer:
1 ten gallon fishtank (the first floor)
1 three-floor hamster cage, which sits on top of the tank (the hamster's
apartment has more square footage than my own)
1 clear plastic rolly ball (hours of fun for you and the critter -- especially
if your floors are slanted like mine)
1 nearly full bag of pine shavings (for that pine fresh scent)
1 large bag of hamster food
2 ceramic food dishes
1 hanging water bottle
1 hamster litter box (don't ask)
1 plastic running wheel
1 metal running wheel (Here's the deal with the wheels: One vibrates loudly, one
squeaks loudly. Take your pick -- they'll both drive you insane because
hamsters are NOCTURNAL)
Officical Petco Hamster Instructions (consult in the event of a "hamster
emergency")
Wouldn't you like to take her home with you?
Break In
As much as I don't have time to do this right now, I am taking a break to post this one. The place I go to get coffee in the morning was busted into last night and the thugs who did it, were trying to get access to one of these mini-ATM machines. They actually did more damage to the door trying to get in than they did to the machine itself. It looks like they hit it once or twice and then gave up.
The machine is actually small enough that two guys could have just carried the stinking thing out. Crimminals are dumb.
February 23, 2004
February 22, 2004
No respect...I tell ya!
Overheard in the Liloia bathroom tonight:
Trevor: What are you doing, Mom?
Tara: Washing extra toothpaste off the tube.
Trevor: You can't do that! You'll get water into it and make toothpaste soup!
Tara: No I won't. I know how to do it right. I took a class.
Trevor: You did? Where?
Tara: In Mom School, where I learned everything I needed to know about being a mom.
Trevor: Wow. Is there a Dad School?
Tara: (scoffing) No. Dads don't need to know anything.
Get a new hobby, Ralphie. Please.
Ralph Nader must be a closet Republican. That must be why he consistently strategizes to put that party in power.
I visited NaderExplore04.com (before it redirected to votenader.org) and there was nothing exploratory about it. Nowhere was the voting public asked to explore the issue of Nader running, but instead we were ushered toward simple, prominent forms for volunteering and contributing to Nader's "campaign" (which didn't exist yet). *wink wink*
I had to dig for contact information to send Nader my opinion about a second try at his disastrous campaign. Personally, I think presidential politics should be a one-shot deal. You can run once, if you fail, you're out. The tribe has spoken. Maybe we'll bring you back for an all-star election five years from now.
- Ralph, don't run!
- An Open Letter to Ralph Nader
- Ralph Nader: Don't Run in 2004 Petition
- Please, Nader, don't run, for Greens' sake
- Urgent Plea to Ralph Nader - Don't Run
But I wasn't surprised to learn the Nader announced his candidacy today. He's been running for weeks now.
In reality, I'm not critical of the man or his policies. (In fact, I supported Nader enough in 2000 to cast my ballot for him. Forgive me, I didn't understand the ramifications. It's a complicated electoral system — I think a lot of us didn't get it. At least I didn't live in Florida.) But he's singing a tune that a lot of us have already danced to in the last several months:
Why is Ralph Nader running?
To take our democracy back from the corporate interests that dominate both parties.
Been there, done that, got the bumper sticker.
"put some spine into Washington politics"
Someone already beat you to it, Ralph.
Dean's Rough Ride
The Nation on the media ravaging candidate Dean:
"In forty years of observing presidential contests, I cannot remember another major candidate brutalized so intensely by the media.... For the record, reporters and editors deny that this occurred. Privately, they chortle over their accomplishment. At the Washington airport I ran into a bunch of them, including some old friends from long-ago campaigns, on their way to the next contest after Iowa. So, I remarked, you guys saved the Republic from the doctor. Yes, they assented with giggly pleasure, Dean was finished--"
Great article. It does a fine job of articulating what media's role was in Dean's campaign -- and what, perhaps, it should have been... theories about which have been tossed around in various forums (online and off) during the last few weeks.
February 20, 2004
I never lose...
These instructions for hacking the Pepsi iTunes giveaway *so* work. But there's more to success than what's in the directions. The top 1/3 of the bottle is warped in a decorative swirl design, which makes it difficult to read the cap lettering through the fuzzy plastic. It helps if you point the cap toward a light fixture — giving you some backlighting. It also behooves you to rotate the bottle a few times to get the best vantage point. There are some spots in the plastic that are not as warped and you'll be able to glimpse a letter or two through those areas.
Like the article points out, the end of the word "AGAIN" is the easiest portion to spot. So start with a few bottles and eliminate from there.
I found a display case full of yellow-capped 20 oz. Pepsi, grabbed four of them and headed to an aisle that was farther from the checkout. (Because you do look like an idiot standing in Stop & Shop making kaleidoscope-like roations with a Pepsi bottle pressed to your eye like some kind of cola pirate peering through a high fructose telescope to find downloadable treasure.) But I was rewarded for my tenacity with one of the four bottles offering a free song.
Pepsi pouts:
"We always put redemption limits in place on promotions like this," said Dave DeCecco, a Pepsi spokesman, "but we found that most consumers played by the rules."
Here's a rule for ya, Dave — people will tinker/hack/reverse engineer anything. Fix your crappy product design before you get any closer to calling us cheaters outright. I can look right into your product and see if it's a winner. How did that little gaffe slip through QC? Decided against the Six Sigma training at PepsiCo, I gather.
Anyway let's all think rationally for a moment before we get giddy on corn syrup and phosphoric acid — it's not as if the song is truly free. You can't read the code itself from outside the bottle, so you will have to pay for the soda. Sounds more like a value-add than a contest prize to me.
Off to choose an Ani Difranco tune...
If at first you don't suceed... quit.
One of Howard Dean's most powerful labor supporters, Gerald W. McEntee, said on Thursday that he had decided that Dr. Dean was "nuts" shortly before he withdrew his support for Dr. Dean's candidacy and begged him to quit the race to avoid a humiliating defeat.
Why is Gerald McEntee surprised that Dean didn't bow to the wishes of a special intr labor union? Dean has said from the start that he answers to no one but the people. Frankly, it's disappointing to learn that McEntee believes it's better to give up and save face than to give 100% in the face of adversity.
February 19, 2004
The Big Gay Bouquet
Word is spreading rapidly about the plan to send congratulatory bouquets to newly-married couples on the steps of the San Francisco courthouse.
If you had floral arrangements at your wedding -- imagine the pleasant surprise for someone who has no reason to expect such a treat. Someone who perhaps wonders if their union will be valid in a few weeks.
Flowers by the Bay will deliver your arrangement to a random couple.
(via Cory Doctorow)
Not gone, not forgotten
We are still here. We haven't forgotten about all the millions and millions of readers of Liloia.com. This week has been really busy and the long Presidents Day weekend was wonderfully mellow. Hopefully we will start posting again soon, expect to see more from us over the weekend. :)
February 18, 2004
Can't fight Kyrumption, cinnamon buns.
Joss Whedon on the WB's sudden decision to cancel Angel:
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn."
February 13, 2004
Nuff Said
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right
place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
-- Dorothy Nevill
February 12, 2004
Keep your hands off the interns, please.
KERRY FIGHTS OFF MEDIA PROBE OF RECENT ALLEGED INFIDELITY
In an off-the-record conversation with a dozen reporters earlier this week, General Wesley Clark plainly stated: "Kerry will implode over an intern issue."
February 11, 2004
Traditional media outlets:
You got a neat new toy. You played with it so much that you broke it. You're probably not going to get another one for a very long time.
This post wanted to be 2500 words. It wanted to be a long and detailed analysis of the Dean Downfall, the Big Media Against Citizen Journalists, Meetups vs. Meet the Press. But it kept getting mired in points that other people have already made better than I ever could, so I killed it. It all boils down to the note above.
February 10, 2004
It's the end of the world as we know it.
I would like to request that everyone please start using the phrase "Doomsday Device" in place of the watered-down appellation "weapon of mass destruction". Thank you.
February 8, 2004
You can't fake it.
At least not with me. Most people are surprisingly bad at spotting fake smiles.
Try your skill at spotting the faux souris:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/
(I got 18 out of 20 correct -- I'm a veritable walking polygraph test. Can you beat that?)
[via Dina]
Good News / Bad News
We had a credit leftover from trading in some games at EBX this week, so after catching a movie today we headed over to the new EBX in Framingham and picked up two new games.
First we snagged Animal Crossing.
People had been telling me for ages that this was the best game Eh-Vah, and that it was highly addictive. I played it for about two hours this afternoon, and I must admit that it was fun. I am not hooked yet, but I fully expect to be ignoring my family soon.
Next I grabbed a game that I have wanted for about two years now, Age of Mythology.
I loved the original AOE, I loved the sequel AOK, and as you can tell by the time posted below I have been loving this new version since just before SNL until a few minutes ago. The addition of monsters and gods takes most of the parts I loved from Gallactic Battlegrounds and puts them into the AOM setting. I may have to take some screenshots and post them here so you can see these cool monsters. Ok, feel free to start chanting GEEK, if you haven't already. :)
February 7, 2004
Hubble
Apparently NASA is considering scrapping the Hubble telescope partly due to President Bush and his plan to colonize the moon and use it as a launching pad for other exploration.
But how can we accept that when it is still finding cool stuff like this?
And who can argue when it take pictures of distant galaxies, stars and nebulas and then shoots them back to us?
I think that unless they offer to replace it with something that offers greater data collection, we should all join in to convince them not to scrap it.
Think about it, it would be like living in a house with no windows. We know that the world is out there, but the only way we can see anything is to go outside. And in this example, outside is 104 trillion miles away. That would be a long walk.
Winter Radio Ads
I listen to Howard Stern on my walk to the train in the morning. If you listen to him regularly, you know the pain of his commercial breaks that are excessively long. Most of the time, it isn't too bad but as the winter progresses I am getting more and more annoyed. This message is for the radio station that syndicates him...
Dear WBCN,
I don't ski. At all. Please stop playing the same three skiing commercials all morning long, over and over and over again. Sometimes you play the same one back to back. Also, I don't need a Vermont Teddy Bear (although I did visit their factory), an Elizabeth Grady facial OR an entire day of beauty, and lastly I don't need my windshield replaced by Giant Glass at this time.
Yep, I think that covers all of the commercials you play. Here's a note, try hiring some new ad sales managers who can close some new accounts. Focus on some advertisers that will fit your target audience. We are all 18-35 year old men. Oh, and your website sucks. I know some people, give me a call.
Thanks for listening.
Dave
February 6, 2004
Solaris
Ugh. So I get home after working more than 12 hours today, grab some dinner and settle down with Tara to watch a movie. We had grabbed Solaris from Hollywood video assuming, "hey, it's a space movie! It's gotta be halfway decent."
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
At one point we actually discussed whether Gigli was better than this movie or not. Ultimately we decided that it was better than Gigli, although if Gigli took place in outer space, then it would win hands down.
(We also rented Gigli this week on a spoof just so we could see it and talk about it. Don't ask. It was a bad movie week. Although we did just get American Splendor from Netflix.)
February 4, 2004
Scam Postcard
Today I received a postcard in the mail telling me "We are trying to reach you with Good News!!!" blah blah blah.
It was clearly a scam, but what kind of scam? I thought it might be interesting to find out. Google to the rescue. Their name, address and other info didn't result in any matches that were relevant, mostly because this company apparently uses various addresses. But their phone number...a different story.
Check it out here.
February 3, 2004
Teachers like experiments.
Let no one tell you otherwise, the absolute best thing about being a parent are the notes home from school. Like this one:
Our reply:
Dear Mrs. X.,
Trevor's father and I are conducting a critical psychological experiment with Trevor this week. We will be incrimentally decreasing the amount of food in his lunch each day until he gets desperately hungry enough to eat the raisins. Please let us know on which day that occurs.
Thanks in advance,
The Liloias
L337 D1nn3R.
Tonight we have having a Hax0r D1nn3r. Trevor is having waffles and I am having Hot Pockets. A few more chugs of diet coke and then we're going to phreak some phones. Sw33T!
February 2, 2004
Ricin in Senate Building
Not to usurp my post a second ago but you gotta read this.
On CNN.com as a Breaking News: Preliminary field test on substance found in Senate office building indicates presence of biological agent ricin, Homeland Security official says. Details soon.
Here are some facts about ricin
"Ricin works by getting inside the cells of a person’s body and preventing the cells from making the proteins they need. Without the proteins, cells die. Eventually this is harmful to the whole body, and death may occur. "
Here is an October 2003 article about it
more on ricin...
Trophy Wife
Tara and I were talking in the kitchen this evening as I ate my dinner.
Dave - "You wait and see. I can't wait to divorce you and get myself a trophy wife."
Tara - "I am a trophy wife. I'm just a bowling trophy."
I didn't think that carrots could shoot that far out of my nose. Apparently they can. :)
Wow.
If this was yours, I must apologize in advance. This was too good to pass up. Outside one of the bathrooms in my office someone lost this.
It is what appears to be a black, Victoria Secret thong. We didn't pick it up to verify it's brand, but we are pretty certain this is what it is. How do you lose your underwear and not know it?
February 1, 2004
Pats Win It
Even though I boycotted the Super Bowl, I think I can safely assume that the Patriots won, since I hear explosions coming from the street outside.
It sweet, how we think to ourselves: "Yeah! Our burly guys beat their burly guys... let's blow crap up!"
MoveOn Super Bowl
I'm boycotting the Super Bowl today. I'm ticked that CBS has refused to air the winning anti-Bush ad from MoveOn.org. Hundreds of people created ads for the contest and and thousands more donated money in order to purchase a spot during the Super Bowl, but it took only one person to veto the placement.
The ad isn't pornographic or profane but apparently, criticising the current administration is just as unacceptable. Here's a nail-on-head quote from SnL's Tina Fey:
"CBS announced that it will not air moveon.org's winning anti-Bush ad during the Superbowl, saying they don't air so-called Issue Ads. Unless the issue is that girls are sluts for beer."
I'm not going to be missing much anyway. I have already come up with some alternatives to the fine, quality entertainment I'll be missing:
Star Search
This show is: People singing earnestly.
Substitute with: Get in car, turn dial marked "radio". Listen.
Super Bowl's Greatest Commercials
This show is: Uh, commercials.
Substitute with: Watch the greatest Super Bowl commerical you'll never see right here. If you're really desperate for more ads in your life you can watch commercials on another channel.
Phil Simms All-Iron Team
This show is: Guys picking their favorite football players.
Substitute with: Yahoo Sports Fantasy Football or your local pub.
SuperBowl Pregame
This show is: Sixteen hours of inane crap about a game that hasn't even taken place yet.
Substitute with: Something equally as tedious... like plucking eyebrow hairs or checking the fluid levels in your car.
SuperBowl XXXVIII
This show is: Portly men running into each other to prove their worth.
Substitute with: Boston. Bar. 1:00am.
Survivor: All-Stars
This show is: Mean people backstabbing each other for money.
Substitute with: Drive to work, sit at your desk, look around.
The Big Dig of Healthcare
White House Defends Medicare Law Despite Higher Price Tag
The White House strongly defended the new Medicare law offering prescription drug benefits and private health plans to the elderly today, despite projections that it might cost at least $530 billion over 10 years, or one-third more than the price tag used when Congress passed the legislation two months ago.