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Welcome to the 4th Grade

In the 4th grade, the first day of school is still exciting, especially with your new Invader Zim notebook.

"I'm gonna sing the Doom Song now..."

Confessions of a BzzAgent Point Hoarder

I've been wondering what happened to BzzAgent rewards. For more months than I can count, the only available choices have been charitable donations. Tonight, I finally had time to do a quick search for the answer. In a June 2006 BeeLog post, Dave Balter talked about the failure of the BzzAgent rewards system:

Almost 87% with enough points to redeem a reward never redeem a single point [an inverted model, for those who are in loyalty marketing], up from 70% just one year ago. No matter how much prodding or pushing we do, fewer BzzAgents are seeking rewards for their points. A very small subset - those in our program for freebies - continue to pursue the rewards, but the significant majority do not.

He went on to say that the program would be overhauled after a serious re-thinking of the role of rewards within the word-of-mouth framework. I was intrigued that Dave called a 13% redemption rate a failure; thirteen percent doesn't set off my alarm bells. Here are some hypothetical indicators that I would believe point to the failure of a rewards system:

-- A flood of reward requests that BzzAgent was unable to fulfill
-- Widespread (outside of the BzzAgent website) complaints about the quality of rewards
-- Zero percent of BzzAgents claiming rewards

In the three-and-a-half years since I became a BzzAgent, I have not redeemed any rewards, but it was not because I disliked the points system. I often checked what items were available; I especially enjoyed looking at the higher point-value rewards and saving for them. I finally have enough points for a smashingly-good reward, and the items have disappeared.

The real-world results didn't jive with the company's expectations, but I wonder if the expectations were based on flawed comparisons. Dave mentions hotel and credit card rewards programs as a baseline. Participating as a BzzAgent is more involved than receiving rewards as a credit card user or airline passenger. I've invested more time and thought while Bzzing and crafting BzzReports than I ever would booking a flight or charging a purchase.

Credit card and airline rewards are throwaways; carrots to keep me going back to one company when I can easily hop providers based on perks; however, BzzRewards are invested with more meaning. They tap into my pleasure at participating in a vast word-of-mouth network. Dashing off an order for a Chili's gift certificate seems to cheapen the time I put into sharing my opinions and writing up the results.

I liked the BzzAgent swag -- the company bee is an energetic logo and I'm eager to display my affiliation with BzzAgent... but really, how many key chains and coffee carafes can one girl own before she's condemned to a sort of geeky hell made up of a janitor-sized keyring and constant caffeine shakes?

I recall seeing a nifty camera as one reward that took four pictures in quick succession. A great little toy, but nothing I needed. I was waiting for a book to use as a birthday present for my brother, a DVD my sister would love... or even a useful item for myself; cookware, books on my wish list or a gadget I've had my eye on. I waited too long; I played a game of Ten Women* with the rewards and lost.

Now this is not a shot across BzzAgent's bow or any such gauntlet being thrown down, but rather an out-loud hope that a company with the capacity to be nothing you expect from marketing continues to zig when we're all zagging. I hope BzzAgent brings back their rewards. And I expect, in true BzzAgent style, that the updated program will surprise and delight us.

*A game in which you decide, of the next ten women to pass you, which one woman you would... *ahem*... "date." The trick is that you must make a "yes" or "no" choice as each woman passes you. You cannot change your choice after seeing what else is coming.

Happy Birthday, Trevor!

If you're nine, that makes me...

I hate being sick

I really do. Here's the thing. I hardly EVER get sick. Yeah, I get the irony in the diabetic never getting sick, but like I don't. I get a cold perhaps once a year, or the flu once every couple of years and that's it these days.

Yesterday afternoon on the second to last day of our vacation, I started to feel crappy. Now today I am all sniffles and a fever, etc., etc. As Tara knows, when Dave doesn't feel good, he makes sure that everyone around him knows. I am not a good patient.

For the next couple of days we are staying with Tara's parents in NJ. While I love them to death, not being at home in my own bed after a long vacation and feeling ill isn't great. We also are having some (very welcome) houseguests this weekend in VT, and I am hoping that my cold is long gone before then.

That said, vacation was good. Paul (my brother) and Melissa had their engagement party yesterday (congrats guys) which was a lot of fun, and we are considering getting another Dodge Caravan (used) to be the new family "truck". Hah.

Bye Bye, Blockbuster

From the day we joined, we knew that Blockbuster Online Total Access' days were numbered. Is it possible, we wondered, to sustain a business model in which it's effortless to watch 24 movies a month for $17.99, or 75-cents each? Clearly, the answer is no.

If you were a Netflix subscriber a couple of years ago, you might remember a similar situation. The company realized that they couldn't sustain profitability with the volume of movies going out each month to active subscribers. So what did Netflix do? They punished their best customers.

While Dave and I were out evangelizing Netflix to anyone who would listen, the company began holding DVDs for a few days to slow down our account activity. That is not the way to treat your best word-of-mouth marketers. Netflix was sued for advertising "unlimited" DVD rentals, when it was really throttling back the service for Netflix die-hards.

A few weeks ago, the first rumblings of change were heard at the counter of our local Blockbuster store. Dave stopped by to exchange our mailers for movies when the store manager ground his transaction to a halt:

Store manager: How do you like your Total Access free rentals? [He placed an accusatory emphasis on "free rentals" that we've heard before; as if we're freeloading or pilfering movies by using the plan the way it's advertised.]
Dave: It's great, we love it.
Store manager: Do you need any candy or popcorn?
Dave: No, thanks.
Store manager: Come on, can you just buy something? My sales are down today, would you help me out?
Dave: Um... no.

Dave, a loyal customer, came out feeling annoyed and disgusted. Blockbuster associates had pitched the Total Access plan to us for months as we rented one-off movies. "Are you sure you don't want to join? Unlimited movies! In-store rentals! Free map to Valhalla!" As soon as we became members, their attitude changed to sullen and haughty.

Today came the announcement from Blockbuster:

Due to changes in our subscription plan pricing, your current BLOCKBUSTER Total Accessâ„¢ plan, Unlimited Online DVDs up to 3 at a time plus unlimited in-store exchanges each month for $17.99, will no longer be available at the current price.

You will be moved to our new plan that includes Unlimited Online DVDs 3 at a time plus up to 5 free* in-store exchanges for $17.99. This plan will not include an e-coupon for in-store DVD and/or game rentals. The new subscription plan and pricing will go into effect on your regular monthly billing date following August 31, 2007.

In addition, exclusively for BLOCKBUSTER Total Access customers, we have introduced in-store movie rentals for $1.99 per movie should you need more than the in-store exchanges included in your plan.

The plan change costs ten extra dollars per month to retain fewer services than we have now. A 66% price increase is a pretty big one to swallow. Dave and I are seriously annoyed at both Blockbuster and Netflix right now. Why didn't they determine the profitable price point for their services before rolling it out? I've been convincing people left and right to try Total Access and my reward is a 66% price hike?

At this point, we're leaving Blockbuster completely. The company won't care. They'll probably breathe a sigh of relief that they've lost one more high-volume renter. I challenge anyone out there to create a mailed-DVD rental service that can sustain itself without punishing people who love the service.

Maybe we'll order cable. Maybe we'll just buy Boggle. There's a long Vermont winter coming up...

Hotel Hot Tub Formula

For any given hotel hot tub that holds ten people:

-- Two will be an elderly German couple staring far too intently at the other occupants
-- Two will be a slightly post-adolescent couple under the impression that bubbles and froth equals no visibility under the water line; unaware that everyone else in the hot tub knows what that expression means
-- Two will be toddlers, faces crimson, up to their necks in foam
-- One will be the parent of the toddlers, who wants to be warm and has no interest in actually parenting his/her children in the pool
-- One will be a pregnant woman, which makes everyone a little nervous

That leaves two seats for you and your husband. Pass, thanks.

Gone Fishin'

Right-Wing Grammies

My grandmother never sleeps. Or always sleeps. I can't figure out which, because when she's not sleeping she keeps the FOX News channel blaring in the background and when she is sleeping she keeps the FOX News channel blaring in the background.

The last time we stayed at my parents' house, I slept in the living room adjacent to Gram's room. I woke up the next morning felling an inexplicable urge to interrupt people with accusatory monologues. I also kept accidentally calling people "fanatical leftists."

Avon Lady: Here's this week's catalogue, tell your mother I said hello!
Me: Why do you hate America?

By the third day, after I found myself calling the local quilt guild meeting an "orgy of left-wing nonsense," I realized that eight hours of nightly immersion FOX News was having an effect on me. I wondered what it was doing to my grandmother after years and years of indoctrination.

Gram loves Sean Hannity. Here's a taste of what she's watching:

Rick Perlstein has similar concerns about FOX teaching our grandparents how to hate diversity, debate and liberals.